I will start off this letter with the most important words in the world – I love you. Probably more than you can imagine, more than I thought I possibly could. More than you’ll ever know. This letter is only to tell you about my undying love for you. The love that you probably have...
Tag: relationships
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Man up! Breakdown of Masculine & Feminine
A healthy relationship needs someone carrying the masculine energy (usually the man) and someone carrying the feminine energy (usually the female). In a relationship the people/energies react to each other. When you interact with someone who has more feminine energy than you, you tend to occupy a masculine space in relations to them. When you...
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Dating Women Who Aren’t Beautiful
In September 2015 when I met Sonto at a social gathering I’d attended. It turned out we had gone to the same high school. She looked beautiful, I can vividly remember her blue dress and how the colour seemed to highlight her beauty. We began dating two weeks later, and as naïve as it sounds,...
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Marvin Conversations: The Thing and The Fight to Fall (Power FM 98.7)
The Thing and The Fight to Fall – When you have spent your life ducking and diving commitment for whatever reasons and unexplainable fear, until you find that one person who makes you want to fight to fall. Join the Marvin conversation with Aphelele Somi as she grapples with issues of commitment. What are the...
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The Day I Drove A Bargain With My Ancestors …
A few days after I was hijacked in 2015, I sat in my flat, physically unhurt by the incident, not angry with the perpetrators and not stressed about losing my car but confused as to why izinyanya, my ancestors, would allow this thing to happen to their child and how something so dangerous could happen...
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The Thing, and The Fight to Fall …
I have never been good at relationships. Particularly, I have never been good at romantic relationships. Something about them seems to me unnatural. Actually, a lot seems unnatural. There is the rushed togetherness. There is the relentlessly pursued sense of oneness. There is the expected sharing of the self, the packing into little conversations of...
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Indoda Yesimanje Manje (Modern Man)
When the resident office trickster, George, asked me to write on the modern man, I was very reluctant. In fact, I turned the piece in at the last minute because the word “modern” is devoid of meaning to me. Instead, I started thinking about manhood itself, and my very identity as a human being, as...
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How I Came To Understand My Male Privilege By Experiencing Racism …
A few months ago, I was watching a documentary about the history of the formation of our country with my son . It touched on topics such as slavery, colonisation and apartheid. While we were watching he turned to me and asked, ‘Papa, why did white people do this to us?’ It is not that...
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Ten Commandments for the Modern Man ….
Well, you see I have a lot of male friends. In fact, I can count the number of female friends I have on one hand. I’ve always been drawn to men. Even when I get to a mixed group of people, I always find myself gravitating towards the men. I find women strange and rather...
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Happiness Is A Four Letter Word: The Men
The movie “Happiness Is A Four-Letter Word” opened a few weeks ago with record breaking stats in just 10 days. By all intents and purposes, the film – a screen adaptation of the book by the same name, written by Cynthia Jele – is a chick flick; the three leads are all women, namely, Nandi...