Product of a Heart Break …

There is a nervousness that surrounds us, when we get excited about a new adventure, be it a beginning or an ending. There is also a sixth sense that women seem to have with everything in life. Some women tap into this sense with an ease and grace that belies the gravity of their life’s pressures, where as there are some who get that chill up their spine, red flags, AND a freaking train smash and still doubt themselves.

She used to be the second type of woman, and as she lay there with this feeling at the pit of her stomach, she knew that what she had done was one of her better decisions.

She had the same feeling a while ago, when her ultimate Marvin Man smashed into her life and two months later she let him go.

So now she sits, yet again listening as the bells ring and watching the flags fly and her stomach sink and she knows…its time. It’s time to walk away.

There is this philosophy that one would rather be happy alone than miserable in a situation-ship, and she believed that relationships were a clear reflection of where one was in life, or how ones subconscious perceives one to be. she would rather be alone, she would rather learn the lesson, reflect and grow than stay in her current red-flagged situation.

Mr. Marvin was and still is her mirror. They are perfect on paper in all aspects, value systems, life’s goals, pursuits, careers, motivation and contributions to society. He showed her who she was, he showed her what she wanted, he made her dig deep and address all her securities and insecurities. Her emotional quotient grew exponentially in his presence. There was no major problem aside from attention. He was distracted, he still is, she calls it bad timing, she might even go so far as to call it a tragicomedy, why would Mr. Marvin blast into her life.

That’s why, she had to meet Mr. Marvin, to realize what she needed as opposed to what she thought she wanted.

She was nervous but so certain, the grey areas, the pleasant conversations, the memories were not enough. They were like a European autumn, beautiful, cozy, warm and golden during the day and when the sun set the reality that winter was around the corner hits you. She knew that for civility to reign she had to pull the plug and be swift and merciless about it so that the relationship can take the course it always should have, an inspiring journey, an motivational friendship with no expectations aside for the desire for the other to excel in their fields and challenge each other to be more.

So she sat there, 3 months later having discussed her way out of the current red-flagged situation-ship. She looked at Mr. Red-Flag and thought back to how it should have all played out, to the day that she and Mr. Marvin met, to the day that changed her perspective on a myriad of things.

to be continued…

Writer: Juliet Kavashe