The Woman Every Man Needs …

”This is a salute to the woman that every man needs,
The woman who was there before everything…”

 

The one who opened the door at 4am, again,
And didn’t ask a single question,
Because she knew you were not proud
Of the dark path your ambitions made you walk.

Before you bought mom the big house,
The one who was there when mom called,
To say thank you for her beautiful gift you sent,
When you had forgotten it was her birthday.
Before the entourage,
The one who could see through your friends,
When you couldn’t see past your friends.
Before the Platinum Cards,
The one who came dressed up and
Took a whole ten minutes going through the menu,
Knowing well that there was only one thing you could afford there,
And she ordered it,
And smiled

 

Before the critics,
The one who tried to read the books,
Go through the sites or listen to the music,
Not that she wanted to,
But because she wanted to have more to say than just, “oh, that’s nice…”

Before the 2 door coupe,
When she counted the coins,
To make sure you had enough for the taxi

Before you name was written in lights,
When you couldn’t keep the lights on,
But her eyes glowed in the candlelight.

Before the multiple properties,
The one who helped you switch off the light and lock the doors,
When yet another bright idea failed.

 

Before the angelic groupies,
The one who showed you your demons,
And held your hand as you faced them.

Before every one knew your name,
The one who spoke about you dreams,
Like they were hers.

Before the sunrise,
On that long night, that long, dark night
That seemed like it would never end,
She was there, helping you count the stars.

Before the three piece Armani,
When she ironed pop’s last gift to you

 

Before the corner office,
When, again, with bloodshot eyes,
You put scraps of business plans into a brown envelope, again,
And she saw a CEO walk out the door.

Before you came bursting through the doors, eventually,
Bearing gifts, kids running into your arms,
The one who had to answer when confused little minds asked;
“Why doesn’t papa want to be with us anymore?”

She did this without ever losing herself or her identity,
Because she knew that, she too, was with the one,
The one who was there before everything.

Ladies, sometimes you don’t know, sometimes we don’t say it,
But sometimes, you are the most powerful presence in your man’s life

On behalf of every man who’s ever had someone believe in them,
Thank You!

 

Writer: Vus Ngxande

Photographer: Khumbelo Makungo

  • Ntsako Ngomane
    17th Feb 2015

    This is too deep!!!!

    • GGMatsheke
      17th Feb 2015

      We are just appreciating the woman that makes us better men …

      • Ntsako Ngomane
        17th Feb 2015

        It becomes apparent and much appreciated when men get to the point that they realize that there are still those women that still appreciate the basics….lovely topic and very well written….i consider this an inspiration to those who may have forgotten along the way…

  • Mpho Amanda Titus
    17th Feb 2015

    I was really touched when I read this!!! Every women hopes to hear this from their partner.

    • GGMatsheke
      17th Feb 2015

      but not every woman does this as well, so not every woman will hear this …

      • Mpho Amanda Titus
        19th Feb 2015

        True, but maybe they used to then stopped because their men didn’t appreciate what they were doing

  • Nicole wa Nicholas
    18th Feb 2015

    I think i cried because i know that my man will have his years in the lights,his name on every screen..he shall rise like the sun his glow but even if God Forbid he doesn’t he is still a star to me and i wouldn’t trade him for anything or any one else in the world.

    • GGMatsheke
      18th Feb 2015

      We appreciate those women …

    • Ambila Omondi
      26th Feb 2015

      Thank you,and may God bless your relationship,faith,that’s all you need to move the mountains,all shall be well

  • stephanie kagendo
    18th Feb 2015

    I wouldn’t want to be this woman…as soon as the platinum cards check in,the groupies check in,she is soon forgotten…that’s reality.

    • Kwame Osei Bonsu
      18th Feb 2015

      Stephanie, pardon me… but as a Wife, your Beauty attracts your Husband, but your Wisdom will continue to keep him…. remember that!

      • Christine Obino
        19th Feb 2015

        I agree with you kwame but men too forget about this woman who has been there through it all.that she needs the man more than the platinum cards…..

    • Elizabeth
      19th Feb 2015

      That’s no true, I agree, that woman in the poem doesn’t exist, she’s a twisted fantasy, or a fool. However, there are men who stick or with their women. I understand that it is not or culture, yet is our reality that if you make a lot of money, you can lose it just as easily. And then, you lose your hoochie mamas, and that, serves you right, and it’s reality

      • Vus Ngxande
        20th Feb 2015

        This poem was based on an actual person. I personally know many such women. To expect a woman to be supportive of a man who is trying to build a future for both of them is not a twisted fantasy. Supportive women exist. Supportive, loyal men exist. If you’ve never encountered such people then it doesn’t mean they don’t exist. If you have resigned to believing that no successful man is worth your support and, any broke man is not worth your time, then this is actually Your reality.

        • Elizabeth
          20th Feb 2015

          I know for a fact that all human beings have flaws. Give flaws. This fantasy I guess might seem realist to a romantic, but it just annoys me as soon as I read the first paragraph. Perhaps that’s why I’m no poet. Keep the delusion alive. Peace, I’m out to the real world where my man knows better than to show up late.

          • sonn
            24th Feb 2015

            am surprised you didn’t identify with any part of this poem. part of why she doesn’t exist to you is because you are not like her, there are women like this in the real world. i know that for a fact

          • NJ
            4th Mar 2015

            those women are NEVER appreciated. Her act is that of a mumu.

          • NJ
            4th Mar 2015

            I’m with you on this dear…. story book woman. Men never appreciate such women… they are the ones to suffer most in a marriage. How about the man being this woman???

          • falling321
            30th Apr 2015

            The real world ‘Where my man KNOWS BETTER than to show up late’. How sad…for both you and that man.

        • Sihlangule Siwisa
          25th Feb 2015

          There is a lady who once said to me that a woman is attracted to what a man can become, but she quickly loses patience when you take too long to get there. This poem in my view is for the kind of woman who has the patience, the prayer, the prophecy and the praise to watch greatness unfold a day at a time. The challenge we have is we have tended to think of relationships in a transactional way; i will do x for you if you do y for me. But, the kind of love that changes the destiny of families and nations is one that says i love you abundantly, because i am not the source that sustains our love. The Word that sustains my faith says that unless God builds a house, the labourers labour in vain. So, the only way i know to love abundantly is to have an individual relationship with the Author of Life. He is the one who gives me the patience to pray, to prophesy, to praise and let you know that even whilst you are in the process of ‘becoming’, what you are is enough. I count myself favoured for i am loved like that.

        • Donna M McKenzie
          4th Mar 2015

          I was like that with my husband I waited on him isI stuck by him through thick and thinI feel if the man is good to you please give him 100 percent of you should let him know you got his back,I’m older now and if I’m lucky enough to find another mate as long as he treats me good he has my back and I have his I like a man who is funny smart and a worker I look 45 but im older I used to be a plus size model I’ve lost a lot of weight I’m very happy about that like I said maybe I’ll get lucky this year to the women who stays who stands by the MNcorrection dearman good luck

    • Elizabeth
      4th Mar 2015

      For sure

  • Kwame Osei Bonsu
    18th Feb 2015

    GREAF READ! It’s quite unfortunate that most of us remain single due to the scarcity of such women. We want to get married but can’t locate these Proverbs 31 Women. And when we feel the urge to get into a physical relationship with a “Hot Mamaa”, we remember soul-ties and stay celibate. Sad and lonely life really. Good luck to aĺl men in this 21st century.

    • grace cherotich
      19th Feb 2015

      Proverbs 31 women are there and yes they are found in this century!..Trust in God and He will bring her along!

  • Kwame Osei Bonsu
    18th Feb 2015

    GREAT READ! It’s quite unfortunate that most of us remain single due to the scarcity of such women. We want to get married but can’t locate these Proverbs 31 Women. And when we feel the urge to get into a physical relationship with a “Hot Mamaa”, we remember soul-ties and stay celibate. Sad and lonely life really. Good luck to aĺl men in this 21st century.

    • Gusest1
      24th Feb 2015

      Very interesting….there are many Pro. 31 women who say that they are single because of the scarcity of good men to marry! (Irony!) I say this because I am one such woman, who would like to marry a man to whom she can do good all the days of her life. But are there men who will appriciate this good?

    • Jedidah Kemunto
      30th Jul 2015

      Haha! Marriage is a journey… You both do the work to better the other person. Proverbs 31 women are born inside a marriage where a man loves and clings to his wife. You are the head of the family, mould it to what is right! Its your job to present your bride pure before the Lord… it’s hard work my friend but nothing good comes easy. All the best!

  • Idah
    19th Feb 2015

    Brought tears to my eyes. Truth!

  • Asy Nkanata
    19th Feb 2015

    Great read!

  • ivy
    19th Feb 2015

    True appreciation would be for that man to be there to help soothe the baby to sleep those tough late nights and not drunk out of his mind after a night out with’friends’ snoring up to high heavens; to encourage her in her start up business years after leaving her job to take care of the baby and not try to discourage her every step of the way; to not insult her or beat her up because she is asking why you choose to cheat on her severally. That would be true appreciation!

  • Cyrus
    19th Feb 2015

    An amazing read! True, we men need to appreciate the women in our lives who remain loyal in both good and tough times.

    • Princess Favour
      19th Feb 2015

      But Cyrus as soon as the platinum cards check in and the Rest the man “may just” disappear and there you are left……. you guys u also need to be those men who will hold on one woman even after the corner office and all the rest!!!! Before i become an angel to you, create a heaven first for me…….

      • Wa Kio
        22nd Feb 2015

        They do exist. I was ‘the woman’ in the poem, playing the supportive role when we had nothing then was promptly forgotten when ‘platinum’ kicked in. I moved on, have some achievements in my own name now but have no energy to deal with a new ‘beginner’. I’m fresh out!

        • GGMatsheke
          22nd Feb 2015

          It would be interesting to hear the other side of the story, the ones who leave after they get the platinum cards. The insight would be helpful and one would maybe get a bigger picture on why it happens this way.

          • Wa Kio
            22nd Feb 2015

            True. I am not perfect. He also has a story to tell. He ended up loosing everything and is now living off his parents. I used to be angry but all I feel is sad for him. Life does move on. Maybe we shall both find someone else at some point. But this time, I will have my own to bring to the table. Being dependent on someone else is something I just cannot do.

          • George Gladwin Matsheke
            22nd Feb 2015

            I always say that one shouldn’t be the “Speedy” of the group in a relationship. When a team is working well together it might happen that one member thinks that they can do it on their own until they go out there and realize that they actually cant and they are not the lead singer.

  • Emmanuel M'Mwirichia
    19th Feb 2015

    Amen. We sometimes forget to thank women for putting up with us. To all the real ladies, we appreciate you.

    Amazing writing Vus

    • GGMatsheke
      20th Feb 2015

      This is true, we are not easy to be with …

      • Emmanuel M'Mwirichia
        23rd Feb 2015

        As you said, we are just appreciating the woman that makes us better men!

  • Rosy
    19th Feb 2015

    This kinda imaginery clone of a woman is in a drunkard’s head.

    • Vus Ngxande
      20th Feb 2015

      The poem is based on actual person. Many of them exist. So do men who are like that. Not all men are the same. Not all women are the same.

      • GGMatsheke
        20th Feb 2015

        I know women like this as well, I think there is a disconnect between the idea of what it means to be supportive and how to support your partner the way they want to be supported. You might cook a meal for him everyday and maybe he needs you to help him with the business more than the home cooked meals.

    • George Gladwin Matsheke
      23rd Feb 2015

      LOL!

  • mojo706
    20th Feb 2015

    She reminds me of unicorns. I’ve never seen unicorns but I like them.

  • Cheptoo Cece
    20th Feb 2015

    This!! This right here is pure poetic genius.
    #BrilliantObservant_Mind.
    http://bcece-evenangle.blogspot.com
    Adore this.

  • Stella Sewe
    20th Feb 2015

    These women exist, I am not saying this because I am a woman but because I would like to believe I am this woman.

  • Ted Munene
    21st Feb 2015

    I believe that she exists. Awsome post.

  • mujessy
    23rd Feb 2015

    This is a Load of BS!!! Where are the woman’s dreams here? I cannot see him supporting her. Oh, so now he can walk in at 4:00am??!!!! Jesus! I feel like i just read a a beautiful articulate poem from the 1800s with an exception of the platinum cards!! Somebody get me a gun and show me the writer.

    • George Gladwin Matsheke
      23rd Feb 2015

      Please explain more why its BS? are you saying the only people who come at home around 4am are up to no good? Why cant you see him supporting her? Why is it a competition?

  • Ndanu
    23rd Feb 2015

    Wow! Whether appreciated or not, I would like to be this kind of woman. It counts for love well given

  • Verah Vashti Okeyo
    23rd Feb 2015

    I will be damned if I am this woman…

  • Peter Odhiambo Oraya
    24th Feb 2015

    I have seen one, I know one I will take a bullet for her. Yes they do exist

  • Sylvia Wanjiku
    24th Feb 2015

    i agree that such women exist…my man told me a week before i walked down the aisle that the biggest reason he is marrying me is coz i make him a better man….let him lose his job we will pick up the pieces, come at 4 am, baby al open up for you n serve u late night dinner. I pray every day that i will never count the drops of sweat i lose but the fruits of my hard work.
    …..

    • Emmanuel M'Mwirichia
      25th Feb 2015

      Bless his soul and God bless you for being that woman! I appreciate you

  • Tess @Terrie Wangui
    25th Feb 2015

    wow”

  • Asanda
    26th Feb 2015

    This for me is true,not easy but very true. It has to just Love that you want in order to be that women!I always say ri want love and relation with my partner,money i can also go work for it !

  • Khanyo Zondi
    28th Feb 2015

    i come from an era where money & shiny materials are what define a relationship, and love & support are just words in the dictionary. As long as baby brings the bacon home, not caring about what he goes through on a daily basis to bring that bacon. always searching for men who have achieved and made it financially and most of those men have their woman who stuck with them through it all & supportrd him. reading this i’ve always known that im this type of woman in this poem & im not saying this to get a pat on the back but its how i was bar-coded. there is no nicer feeling than being there for the one you love, because lets face it, men are big babies. you need to love them, build them up, polish their egos, pick them up and dust them when they fall, support them & be their number one cheerleader.

  • This is so nice…we forget this on our journey in life, both men and women.

  • Elizabeth
    4th Mar 2015

    She doesn’t exist because it’s a ridiculous notion. A nice submissive woman who looks the other way when the guy is doing messed up shit, supporting him without question. Screw that. My man wants a woman with a mind, he’ll try not to mess up especially because of me. We support each other, it’s not a one sided venture. This fantasy chick, she’ll eventually tire. We’ll see what she does when it happens

  • Ndumiso
    23rd Jul 2019

    great piece

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