When you’re a child, you’re in the guidance of your parents and they make all your decisions for you – except pooping on yourself. The older you get, your parents try to instill some sort of responsibility into your life by giving you the power to make decisions and dealing with the consequences thereafter. Then, eventually, you get the hang of this decision-making business but even within that, there are different compartments that no one goes into explaining to you. So, you start off by blaming other people for your decisions or rather making excuses for whatever situation you end up in just to make yourself feel better. Most of the time, things like parents, upbringing, friends, alcohol, sex, drugs, peer pressure etc are the excuses we use for ending up where we end up.
“There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you”. — J.K Rowling
Then you get older, you make more bad decisions because it’s part of growing up and you’re consistently discovering yourself and your limitations. Alcohol for me was the biggest excuse I used because it was legal and I would avoid rejection – Like approaching a girl you like at a club; I would rather do that while I’m drunk than sober. Now, alcohol teaches us quick about consequences than anything else because there’s something called a hangover that one has to deal with the next morning. Or if you’re an amateur, you’d end up blacking out at the club because you couldn’t handle your alcohol. You get better with experience, you learn that one needs to eat before going out and you know that you need to stay away from tequilas and not mix your alcohol. The sooner you get the hang of handling your alcohol and knowing your limitations, the sooner you can make better decisions knowing your limitations.
Ok, back to the “You are the world that you have created” — where you are now/today is the result of all your decisions combined. Whether you decided not to use a condom with that one-night stand and are now having a baby with a girl you don’t even like, it’s your fault, no one else’s. Whether you decided to drop out of school and not go back to chase your dreams because you think you are too cool for school, it’s your fault. If you’re not happy with your job and where your life is right now, it’s your fault. If you keep dating sluts/assholes, it’s your fault. If you are in debt – it’s your fault. All of the above, you were not forced to do but you chose to participate in it.
“At the understanding that life is not going to take you back. You are the world you have created. And when you cease to exist, this world that you have created will also cease to exist.” — Jefe (The Counselor)
In other words, from the friends that you have, partners you date, places you hang out at, movies you watch, place that you work at, to how you spend your free time, from reading books or magazines, to playing soccer to not caring much about your health. All the above contribute towards the world that you built or the one that you live in. Basically, it’s your fault and it’s your choice if you want to change it.
Writer: George Gladwin Matsheke Photographer: Jeff Rikhotso