Man up! Breakdown of Masculine & Feminine

by Marvin

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A healthy relationship needs someone carrying the masculine energy (usually the man) and someone carrying the feminine energy (usually the female). In a relationship the people/energies react to each other.

When you interact with someone who has more feminine energy than you, you tend to occupy a masculine space in relations to them. When you interact with someone who has more masculine energy than you, you tend to occupy a feminine aspect in relation to them.

In a relationship the feminine – nurtures, nourishes, inspires, motivates, supports, etc..The masculine – protects, provides, leads, guides and decides. So who ever is doing most of the protecting, providing, leading…is the one holding the masculine energy in the relationship (irresepective of whether that person is male or female in gender), similarly for the feminine roles.
This is where it gets tricky.

Adult males come in 2 versions:
– MEN and Boys

– A man is one who does all those things I mentioned above.

– A boy is one who needs them, I,e, a boy needs to be guided, protected, led, provided for, etc

Adult females also come in 2 versions

– A woman is one who does all those things I listed as feminine roles.

– A mother is one who does the things I listed a MASCULINE roles, B E C A U S E a mother has to protect, provide for, lead, guide…her children first and for most before she can do the “soft” feminine stuff.

When a female occupies a Feminine/Woman space she can only attract from an adult male masculine energy or a man. If she occupies a Masculine/Mother space she can only attract from an adult male a BOY. Children are attracted to mothers. Men are attracted to women.

Usually what happens with women who are expressing a lot of masculine energy is that they attract BOYS, and that is why you feel the need to tell them to “man up”, but they can’t because there is already a man/mother, there is only room for a boy. Masculine males/Men are not attracted to Mothers, they tend to gravitate toward women/feminine females. BOYS on the other hand are not attracted to feminine females/women, they are attracted to mothers.

So telling a male to man up is at most useless. The only way you can get him to man up is to stop mothering him/being the man. If he WANTS to be a MAN he will step up to the Masculine role as soon as you occupy the feminine role. If he is not keen on providing, protecting, leading, etc he will lose his attracting and go look for another masculine female/Mother.

Writer: Kagiso Msimango

  • Sakhile Ncayiyana

    Wow this heavy! and brilliant.

    • George Gladwin Matsheke

      2 years later and this is still relevant to what is happening today …

  • FortuityLane

    Exceptional piece of writing! I never really thought about this, like this. Sht*t. Such pieces are the reason I am subscribed to Marvin in the first place. I have learnt something today. I will be a man today. I see the picture. Amen

    • George Gladwin Matsheke

      Right! It gives so much insight … but i also believe that you have to be ready for this article as well …

  • DjangoJane

    This is a very interesting perspective, but the article ended abruptly. In this theory, women are not socialised or given allowance to be ‘girls’. There only options available are very mature and already burdensome. It would be great to get more insight into the female perspective.

    • George Gladwin Matsheke

      The focus on this article was men hence the writer didnt go further into the female perspective

  • Lebogang Mahlangu

    This article just explained my life long struggle and understanding of where I went wrong in relationships… Naturally a mother therefore I unfortunately attracted alot of Boys.. dammm…

    • George Gladwin Matsheke

      You need to be ready for some of the conversations that are had on Marvin hey this post has been there for last two years people were not ready yet