To talk about rebuilding the black male child is a process of understanding what being black is and what being a man is. But more fundamentally, it is a process of unlearning and ‘unteaching’. First and foremost, you are not black. You are an ever-changing landscape of brown tones and tan palms. The concept of...
Category: Conversations
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The Speech That Won’t Go Away …
Address by Stellenbosch University Alumnus demands deep reflection – and action. As the student movement readies itself for the challenges of 2016, an address by Stellenbosch University alumnus, Lovelyn Nwadeyi at its Convocation last month, has laid down serious challenges for the university leadership and for higher education more generally. The speech by Lovelyn Nwadeyi,...
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Love In This Taxi …
It was bound to happen. Considering that I spend almost a quarter of my life in taxis. I am constantly, directly or indirectly, in the company of taxi drivers of every shade, size and temperament. I have spent so many hours waiting for the taxi to get full that I now consider Joburg’s taxi ranks...
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The Three Loves Theory …
My favourite model for relationships comes from the work of anthropologist Helen Fisher. She’s dedicated decades of her life and her career to studying and understanding love, intimacy and relationships. This post will cover her Three Loves Theory, a theory that I find incredibly helpful for understanding relationships. The premise of the Three Loves Theory...
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That Love That Would Never End …
Sizwe. I was thinking of my to-do list, I think. Or was it that proposal I kept putting off. I was thinking about food, just before I thought about how big my butt looked in these jeans. I think. I was thinking about anything other than you. But like you always do, uninvited, unwanted, painfully,...
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This Is How You Are Destroying Your Relationship (Part 2)
The first time that I heard someone say, “your current situation is a result of your decisions”, I was disgusted, to say the least. I imagined how a woman with three kids couldn’t escape the clutches of an abusive man. I thought of an array of reasons why she could be trapped by a tyrant....
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Rebuilding The Black Male Child – Entitlement (Part 3)
Entitlement The idea of entitlement is sometimes confused with some sense of ownership. This is partly true. Ownership is a very simple concept; a state of being an owner. Also, ownership of material objects or entities is very simple to understand. But, entitlement in our society takes a different form when it comes to men...
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The Male Body …
Increases in men replacing meals with legal appearance- and performance-enhancing drugs, or APEDs, such as protein powders and bars, have led researchers to recognize it as a variant of disordered eating. Researchers at Alliant International University presented a study at the 2015 American Psychological Association’s annual convention suggesting lean and muscular male body ideals perpetuated by the media...
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Romance is Like Alcohol …
Romance is like alcohol. It can heal and it can hurt. It can create joy and it can create pain. It’s often responsible for some of the best and some of the worst moments of your life. It can obscure a terrible idea into a brilliant one; it can distort a terrible person into a...
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My Mistakes …
One of the most difficult things to admit, even to us, is that the mistake is ours. It’s easier to point fingers and blame someone else for what could be purely your fault. This is true in our personal lives and also in the corporate world. Who takes the blame for a break-up in relationships?...