Men have a special relationship with the ones who cut their hair. What makes the corner barber special is how therapeutic the chair is, the advice he gives and the fact that he just lends an ear to his clients. Sometimes men just want to talk about their lived experiences. Men don’t go to the barbershop to just get grooming, but for conversations they cannot have with their spouses or girlfriends, even friends. Let me tell you a story: My barber is from Mozambique by the way and I’ve known him for almost three years now. This other time I  went to get my weekly grooming and another gentleman was cutting his hair, he was relaying a very interesting story about how his weekend was, he is a young man in his mid-twenties and is into the clubbing scene. On a nice summer Friday night, he went out with his friends to blow some steam after a hectic week at work and then his girlfriend asked him to pick her up from a certain club when he returns, so they can go home together and he agreed.

He went and had fun with his people and the girlfriend went to a different club. Around 2 am he went to fetch her, bear in mind they don’t live together. He arrives at the location and tries to call, phone goes to voicemail and she is not responding to his text either. He figures that he must just go home and sleep, he’s been dancing throughout the night. When he is about to leave, he glimpses her in the VIP section at a table full of expensive liquor bottles as she is sitting on another man’s lap. The guy was tall, dark and huge, he looked very Nigerian. The challenge was getting access to the VIP section because all the tables are taken, he spots someone he knows and they speak to the bouncer and he is given a wristband. He decides not to interrupt her but hangs around with the people who let him sit and observe from their table. The girl calls and he directs her to where he is seated. She comes with two friends and she introduces him as the boyfriend. She entertains him for a while then disappears to the other table. She continues to do that throughout the night. 

It is 4 am now and the club is about to close, he goes to the tables where she was seen with the other guy and tells her “I am about to leave, are you coming or not?” She states that she has to say goodbye to her friends first and he tells her, “You will find me outside.” While waiting for her outside, she gets into another guy’s car and it is not the tall scary guy. She even has the audacity to shout at him and say; “BYE BABES”, while in the passenger seat of another man’s car. He is now fuming with rage and decides to follow that car, driving recklessly, overtaking every vehicle on the road at high speed. Remember everyone is under the influence. The vehicle he followed was a VW POLO, The vehicle stopped at the boom gate of a certain residential complex.

The boyfriend parks behind the Polo, he gets out goes straight to the window and asks the other driver to lower his window. He greets him and states  “I do not know you but I am here for my girlfriend.” The Polo driver was shocked and asked the lady, “Who is this guy?” She said his name, then he asked “What is your relationship with him?” She said that he was just a friend. The boyfriend took out his phone and refused to be reduced to just a friend. The Polo driver got upset and told the lady to get out of the vehicle but she refused. The Polo driver got out of the vehicle and spoke with the boyfriend. He stated that he has been with her for almost a year now and she even told him that she was pregnant with his child. It was a revelation for the boyfriend because he had been dating the girl for six months. The boyfriend said that he was never told about him, had he known about him he would have never initiated a relationship with her. The boyfriend showed the Polo driver all their chats to prove he is not just a friend and he would have not gone to such extreme lengths if he was not her boyfriend. Context – The Polo driver is an older man (blesser) and the boyfriend is an age-mate to the young lady, they are in their early/mid-twenties. The lady had been dating both of them at the same time.

The problem was that the Polo driver no longer wanted the girl to stay at his place. He asked the boyfriend to take her with him, based on what he just found out about her. The boyfriend also did not want her anymore, he requested to leave before things got out of hand as other people started to come at the boom gate to see what the commotion was all about while others tried to enter the complex. The boyfriend drove off and left her there. The following day she called and asked him to come pick her up at the complex but he refused. She stated that the Polo driver was not her boyfriend he was just a guy she knows and goes to clubs with sometimes. That was the last time saw each other!

It’s in these conversations that I find echoes of my own experiences—moments of betrayal and emasculation in so-called relationships. The barbershop is more than just a place for a haircut; it’s a space where a man can let his guard down and walk out feeling lighter, both in spirit and in style.