***

There is a universe where you exist better

You have loving parents

You are not neglected

Your mother does not call you a demon

Your father does not leave

You are not in pain

 

You left

You left the first time the second the third and the long last time

You left and I took you back, so that you could leave again

 

How long this time? If I speak softly will I get an extra week? If I make myself softer, will I get a month? If I flatten myself, will I get forever?

But you left

You left anyway

 

You left because I am disposable

Because you didn’t see me and my stuff of kings and queens and gold

You didn’t see the stitches of my ancestors, quilting their best with the best parts of themselves

Careful fingers and hearts full of faith

The stitching of the one that would stay, that would survive, that would go forward: Me

But you left

 

You left because your life could continue without me in it

My happiness does not depend on you

You meant that

You could afford to be happy without me

Your heart has many homes

You left because you were confident that there was more, that there was better, that I was not everything

I am not your only home

You were sure that I was not enough

 

You left

A complete statement

A full conversation

The complete crossing of the Rubicon

 

There is no more

You left

 

Writer: Nomfundo Shezi       Photo by ActionVance on Unsplash