Decoding Women: The Answer To “Do I Look Fat In This?”


No need to resort to ending your life, this conversation can have a happy ending.
Let me let you in on some insider info.


You may think that this is the clever response but she won’t buy it, she is female NOT stupid.

Usually when a lover asks you this question it is not because she values your opinion as a fashionista, but because she is feeling insecure. Just as much as “nothing” never really means nothing, and “fine” means you are screwed (not in the good way) in woman speak, this question is not really about jeans or weight.

When this question rears its ugly head, this is how you respond:
1 Tell her you love her and accept her exactly as she is.
2 Touch her as you say it. She needs to FEEL it. What you want to transmit is a sense of security and acceptance. This is best achieved through physical closeness. Remember this conversation has F-all to do with whatever item of clothing she is inquiring about. Unless if you are Calvin Klein or Michael Kors she has other people she’d much rather go to when she really wants an educated opinion on her appearance. Touch also has another effect on her, but you’ll have to come to the seminar to get the details on that one, and also on why women don’t just say what they mean!!!!!!

Her: “Babe, do I look fat in these jeans?”
You: As you hug her “You are perfect, I love you the way you are” or “I am the worst person to ask that question because to me you are perfect”
THEN, here is the tricky scary part. Give her honest feedback about the jeans.
This is important for 2 reasons
1 It legitimizes your response. Just in case she thinks your “you are perfect” response was an avoidance tactic.
2 If you get to the party and her friend tells her she looks like a cottage cheese filled secret sock, you are in trouble


If she really does look great, that’s easy enough. If she would be better off in something else, give her honest feedback but remember to blame the jeans.

Let’s go!
Her: “Babe, do I look fat in these jeans?”
You: As you hug her “You are perfect, I love you the way you are. Although these jeans really don’t do you justice. The dark blue ones really show how hot you are. You know how distracted I get  when you are wearing that pair.”

–       Her needs is a security need, it’s not about fashion.
–       HOLD her as you respond
–       Blame the clothes if they must go.

Good Luck!


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Writer: Kagiso Msimango