I remember when I met Marvin in Greenside, Johannesburg for the first time and he was just regular guy but with something regal about him. I remember that we were drinking the same beer at the bar and conversations started by my complimenting his watch. By end of the day it seemed like we have known each other forever and spoke about everything under the sun. One thing that stood out within our conversation is that he answers a lot of the questions i had as a young man at the time. He was unassuming, authentic, very smart and he knew how to give insight into a lot of the struggles that i had at the time. He was like the father figure that i wish i had at the time or what my dad would’ve become if he was still alive.
The challenges of being a man or become one are unspoken within these streets and its made to seem that its easier or you get over issue by drinking or sex. Maybe my generation is different, we have a lot of information at our disposal and we are exposed even more than our parents were and yet we struggle as much. My father was my hero, he was there till the end, i know no other father besides him and i used to believe that every household was the same until i got older and realized that i was the minority. The transition of becoming a man is also interesting, for the longest time i believed that i was perfect and i could do no wrong then i got into a relationship that exposed all my insecurities, i felt lied to all my life. Why did society not tell me that making money will not be enough, why didn’t society tell me that love comes with a lot of work i need to do on me and it would be painful. Society doesn’t tell you all these truths, society doesn’t tell you that the woman you dream about is light years ahead of you and her struggles you have been blind to until you are in a relationship with her.
Then you begin to see the damage man has done to this world, man has designed this world to help him succeed. Then you learn that you have been part of this system all your life and now that you know its up to you make a difference. These are the difficulties that we discuss on Marvin, we try to understand men better because we know that these conversations are not easy to have but they are necessary for growth. This is not just for men but also for those who are close to man, women and children. Its along journey ahead for man and it will always begin with a conversation but most importantly a conversation with Marvin.