You Are Probably Not What You Think You Are To Your Lover, You Might Be This … (Part 1)

Everyone is looking for something that is selfishly for their own indulgence in every relationship. There is always a transaction transpiring in your relationship, it is best you sit down at some point and figure out what is it exactly you are trading and for what benefit because if you don’t you can be sure that the other person has figured it out. The answer will most certainly be the very fabric and determining factor of where your relationship will most likely go and how far. There are a number of things you could be to your lover that you were not even aware of, until it is too late. Here is the first list…


This is the most obvious and seemingly most easily detectable. It seems that this is the most expected, accepted and even celebrated type of relationship. It started all fair game and even sanctioned by God himself in the Christian bible. All through history men have had to literally pay for patriarchy, prestige over women and gender domination. This has made me wonder sometimes if this is not an intelligent scheme, maybe even coded in DNA, by women to gain the most difficult resource known to mankind. Man have accepted this responsibility and some work their whole lives to provide for the woman (or women) in their lives. This is in exchange of benefiting eternal life with the woman bearing him his duplicates. With the invention of the condom and exclusive night clubs, today’s man has the option of opting out of a lifelong little human to just having a banging one night stand, and it’s good as long as he is cumming. Whose to judge? The lady drank grapes from France, strutted her Peruvian weave and lived that international life. The man had his bed occupied for the night. However way they managed to convince us that we have to work for them it has worked women and it still does…

An Employer

…Until a new kind of man emerged to reverse the role. This man is the that guy that wakes up early Monday morning, showers and makes sure to look like a million ZAR then starts his day by driving his woman to work, then heads to a few trendy squares around the city, meeting prospects and making charming conversations for potential deals then on time picks his lady up again from work, fills up the tank on the way back home. Veers into a restaurant for a preordered bag of scrumptious dinner or dine in depending on how the lady is feeling like that particular evening. Then heads homes to nail the lady senseless. But! There is festering problem here, it is not his house and car. The potential deals were possible replacements of his current lady, should she wake up one day to realise what kind of pseudo-male he is. You see, the man has an outrageous insolence to pull out the lady’s purse out of her bag to pay for petrol and food, drive the lady’s car all day making a major impression on other made women. And yes, the lady does allow these situations to happen because, like I said, she is being nailed senseless…

A dildo

…The man could not be bothered by fucking up hundreds of thousands of years of global tradition that is so deeply ingrained in all species of animals save for the lion which gets to chill all the day while the females hunt for food. During the day when the Serengeti plains aren’t “busy” the male lion will proceed to pop some tails from all the females in the pride. But you see, the male lion’s job though seemingly parallel to this man is hard. The lion has to protect the whole pride from invading marauding younger and faster lions that roam the lands horny with murderous intents to kill male cubs. So our man can only be compared to a dildo because he really can’t do anything should a rich marauding alpha male want her. He will be shelved along with her other slippers and old underwear.

Next week we continue with other titles you possibly are to you lover, the sooner you accept what you really are to your lover the sooner you know exactly what to do and when to do it to maintain or quit the relationship.

Writer: Banele Rewo    Photographer: Jeff Rikhotso