The Need For Four Wheels in Relationships…

I’m in a taxi, as I do every day…

This lady is busy on her phone and this other guy comes and sit next to her, the guy sees an opportunity…and within the first 2 minutes she responds “By the way, I’m in a relationship we’ve been together for some time now and its serious”…Their conversation kept going though, until the lady decided to give away her digits. There are always scenerios like:

  • She cheated/broke up with her guy for someone who drives, why? How did that happen?
  • Why would she date someone that drives over a guy that’s been there for her, for years?
  • Why would he date a woman without a car when he’s surrounded by women with their own cars?
  • Why would he leave her woman at home and toy around with school girls?
  • Why would these school girls date older guys who drive over their age group?
  • And how’s it possible that most of the women that have their own cars are actually single?

Before anything else, I want to talk about “Accessibility”.

Someone once said that “When you mistreat your partner, when you ignore them, when you let someone else make them smile, you’re actually making them become ACCESSIBLE to the other person”. I vaar blind. But they forgot to mention that “There comes a time when having a car is pretty much of a must in a relationship”. Here’s what I observe every day, a woman would get hooted on while walking in the street or in the mall anytime, if she responds, get a lift, she’s gone. In most cases. Those who take taxis everyday get approached, be it by the driver or a passenger. And if she responds and gives away her number she’s gone. In a funeral it happens a lot, at church I see it everyday, and its even worse at the workplace. It begins with lifts to and from work, they exchange contacts…beep beep WhatsApp “What time are we leaving tomorrow? When can I fetch you from your office? Where do I drop you off so your person cannot see and start suspecting?” And they get comfortable until they chat at night.

Accessibility is the biggest thing. If anyone can get your person’s number, chances are they’ll chat, have long and late night conversations, call and even end up hooking up. Because they have access. Zuma can reshuffle the cabinet anytime again, because he has access. Once someone gains access to your partner’s personal space, it takes more than love to control that.

What pained my heart even more this morning is seeing a woman with her child on her back, carrying 3 big bags? Hectic!! She had to cross streets, jump from one taxi to another, stop and go a countless times, all in this cold weather. Imagine how simple her life would’ve been if her man had a car…

Let me share this with you…

Growing up as a young boy my first heartbreak came about when I actually caught my first lover bam’ checkile in a car. I was in grade 12. That day I had to pass by her hood from somewhere, I decided to call her and it made sense enough to see her then than having to come back again later on. So I called, called and called…at some point she picked up and told me she was busy cooking and I understood. As I passed by her street her friends gave me a strange look, I didn’t understand. Just a few houses away, there’s this car. As I pass by it I slightly touched the mirror, unintentionally. Had to move it back properly. All this when she’s staring at me and she’s hoping I don’t say a thing, I lift my head and…there she was. As she hoped I didn’t say anything, because I saw everything (holding hands with seats lowered back)…She told me she’d move on and I had to accept that. I don’t remember how I got home that day, my mom kept asking if I’m sick, I don’t know how I was looking but clearly it was bad.

If we were to post this on any social media platform a countless number, both genders, would relate because they’ve also experienced imoto etshontsh’ imali…imoto etshontsha umuntu wakho I meant. I’ve seen parents in the hood dating and cheating on their partners with guys who drive cars, not necessarily nice cars even. But mostly it would be taxis. Most households and families fell apart because someone in a relationship started having an affair with someone who’s in a relationship, but only because they’re driving. Accessibility. Soon it would be young kids who go to school in the suburbs because they knew they wouldn’t sometimes have to pay. It would go beyond that. One thing would be on their mind “I don’t mind cheating with him because he can get me from point A to Z”. Accessibility.

If she has her own car then it’s not easy to access her, hence many ladies that drive are single. Men don’t have enough guts to approach a woman that drives, in most cases they’d think she’s driving her man’s car or she’s just too intimidating. It happens in every hood, school, campus, workplace, church, mall and everywhere really.

As a guy, I think it’s imperative that I have at least one, two, three or more cars…not just for me but for both of us. Mine and hers because I don’t want my woman to be ACCESSIBLE.

Writer: Mxolisi Tshabalala