“What is the point of being empowered and share the pedestal with a man in society if I still can’t leave home and worse, I have curfew at 25?”  one lady asked. To know where you going you have to know where you come from, but you would agree that culture; tradition and customs could hinder one from going anywhere if common sense does not prevail.

In today’s society particularly in South Africa the female has been positioned to access and head powerful positions professionally or their respective communities. This is without a doubt a major leap from the roles they were, in the past and today still, expected to maintain.  The modern woman is empowered than the one before her and the trend is meant to progress till the day they can take a piss standing up.

Women Do it For Themselves… and They Do It For Themselves, Shem!

Through decades of misinterpretation and demonising either by African themselves or external influences the African stance on the role of the woman has been blurred. However, in this democratic society that is not a valid agenda as we are all considered equal before the constitution. They can be as ambitious as any man and acquire what any man can acquire materially or otherwise. This has spawned powerful female cliques and has inspired confidence in themselves and their families. In most cases these females are educated at university level at minimum, intellegently opinionated, and drive B–C  Class luxury cars. In other cases they just went from high school to a call centre and passed probation, made permanent and saved for a Picanto. Either way she works, drives and is empowered. The trend is normal and expected of a woman to have a career and a car by 25, it’s good.

If You Feel Like Caged Bird Start Decorating.

So now that they have fought against society’s stereotype, secured high pay grade positions, fired a few disobedient male subordinates and on first name bases with the bank manager why are there scents of discontent and depression in the toxic coal stove chimney smoke over Kasi’s skyline? Many African families disapprove of girl child regardless of age to leave home before prince charming comes to ask for her manicured hand in marriage. They are forced to stay home even if there are no siblings to take care of. So owing to the surplus income double story houses keep popping up everywhere but the young woman is not going anywhere though. There is only so much you can do in a yard as small a maid’s quarter’s backyard in the burbs. They feel claustrophobic, punished, constrained and much like living in a shitty scripted fairy tale.

Rapunzel Rapunzel  Let Down Your Weave…

So where the hell is Prince Charming to save women from this torturous over decorated  double storey house with a balcony facing directly on next door’s chimney? There is no argument that there are right kinds of males who form part of the condescendingly named “Black Diamonds” who are compatible and complement the dames’ lifestyles. So where are they? The answer is not surprising and could be partly blamed on the very women who feel under “serviced” by the Kasi male. They can’t even go to white guys because white heterosexuals are already overwhelmed by their supply and usually marry early. And besides labo chero bafuna ipantsula eliphandayo even if he does it in corporate world. Imagine having to speak english everyday endlini.

Anyway…the answer is the Prince Charming in a Red Golf 5,6,7  parked outside Jeepe Girls High or “popping” more than bottles at Harem and Taboo with tertiary’s very very very very fine young naive and impressionable tings. He really has no time to argue with a self-centered, vain and “stiff’ woman who has a vague sense of fun involving an expensive restaurant, fine wine and waiters straight out of GQ. Why should he bother with a woman who probably earns as much as him, actually more? How will he even begin to ask of anything bordering on menial labour from this person. An African proverb immediately jumps in to explain this. “You should not put two bulls in one kraal”. On the other hand there is another male cropping up. The kind that failed at this life thing and now scouts for winning, single women he can take advantage of. Dropps her off at work, Driving her car all day visiting his poorer young tings then later picks her up. He is doing some sort of “business” and the lady supports him thinking it is the right thing to do, alas. He will leave when he gets another better paid women with a flashier car.

So No Sight of Prince Charming? Try Church and Take That Submissive Emasculated Gideon and GTFOH or try these.

• Find a submissive guy and be content with the security that he brings and your ego will be fed for life, and you won’t have to break a nail washing clothes for him. (until you 30 something and you feel a chunk of your life has gone by and you suddenly find yourself attracted and molesting 25 year old hotties)
• Do it for yourself and buy truck loads of dildos, no mishaps there!
• Have an illegitimate child a.k.a a live doll and hope for a girl, a black Ken does not really fulfil the fantasy of a fairy tale and he will want his dad at a later stage.
• Prenup one loser who is great in bed and dump him before honeymoon cocktails reach your bowels.
• Stick it out in your parent’s house till they relent and see you turn into a walking body of salt.

Writer: Banele Rewo