The Wound Of A Father That We Don’t Speak About

A true father goes through many unspeakable experiences to continue to be a father. When he goes out daily in search of bread for his household, he sustains many mental injuries he does not discuss with his family.

His wife and children may not be able to stand the pains he goes through if he shares it with them. The insults from his boss, the embarrassment from his customers, the harassment from his superiors etc yet he can’t quit.

Most times when he gets home, he is welcomed with nags and unending requests. He gets blames for not being able to meet up or for not being able to be like his fellow men. Hmmmm! He is rarely appreciated for his struggles and push just to keep the family together.

Some men had secretly dipped their hands in so many things they can’t discuss with their families. Some have stolen, embezzled, and borrowed so much that they live in inexpressible guilts every day. A real father can take anything just to keep food on the table for his household.

An adage says ”goat sweats but his hair does not let people see his sweat”. Many men are sweating but no one is seeing their sweat because they have a car, a house, a job etc. When it comes to celebrating him, it is done casually. He may not have breasts to breastfeed, yet everyone sucks from his unseen breasts.

He may not carry pregnancy for nine months but he’s always pregnant with family needs. He may not know how labour pain feels, but his pains are not physical.

Tears may not be in his eyes but he bleeds from inside when he has no means to put food on the table for his household. His shout, hostility and moods are not premeditated, they are a fallout of what he goes through. Understand him, please. Understand Men better.

Photographer: Adrian Macdonalds

  • Kgomotso
    13th Jan 2021

    Dope article.

    Being a father is not ease., being a man in general is not ease. I’ve seen it with me. After the birth of my daughter a lot of things really changed, and no one is there to prepare you for the fatherhood, especially if your father was absent but I told myself that I’m not gonna be an absent too.

    We don’t talk much men mental well-being. But I hope you get a chance to do an article about that.

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