I spent the morning in the Engineering department. My friend, my guide for the day, was a Law student and we spent the day in the Engineering grounds. To be fair we were scouting for hotties (and free food) but I also wanted to be anywhere else but the place where I would face my fate.
The time came, like every hour, like listening to Boom Shaka, true to the law of eventuality, the time came. I filtered in amongst the privileged kids, and looked at all the amazing models I knew I’d never be able to create in absolute awe.
“More than 200 of you sit before me and I’ll only see 80 of your faces next year”
The air was sucked out of the room. I’d heard this before but I don’t think I’d ever heard it right away, you know, before that big fat man even saw what any of us were capable of.
So I sat through approximately 2 hours of a lecture on The Chair, flash images and torture all the while knowing I’m going to be number 81 (at best!) and I’m not going to be good enough for them to be lenient.
You’d think that I’d at least know where an orange grows but my brain had reached a level “no fucks” that had never been achieved before.
“It is possible to create as many as you can imagine. I had a student before you that created 36 angles, all different to each other.”
That was the answer the big fat man gave, to how many 3D renders we need to create of the classic chair all in different angles. And after considering how a) because I had no technical drawing experience or any 3D comprehension, forget angular I was okay with handing in my paper as the comic relief of the lot.
“They’d be stupid if they took me. I would know they didn’t know what they wanted”
I said these words while hoping, somewhere at the bottom of my stomach, that someone would see a desire, a willingness, potential or would want a challenge for themselves enough to even think of me. But I said those words not for myself but for my parents on the other end of the line. Hoping that I wouldn’t move to Pretoria but also wishing I’d get the wantings of my heart.
Sitting on that ledge and laughing at old jokes with people I’d known for 5 minutes made me realize that the things you miss are often found when you’re not looking for them. I found answers on that ledge and life in the laughter.
And they didn’t call back but I’d left with everything I came for.