I call it the burden of emotion, that “I’m okay” we all like saying when you really are not. You get to a point when you know that the burden of your emotional truth may not exactly get you the sympathy or the shoulder that you are so desperately in need of. There are a lot of false sympathisers out there, I confess to being one on perhaps more than one occasion.

We have simply become a bunch of people who do not reach out to each other, we have become so dependent on our on our virtual presence that we lost the understanding of how much more our physical presence means to those around u.

Main stream media, and the “I can do better all by myself” lay man philosophies have made voluntarily isolate ourselves from each other. Relying so heavily on these virtual persona’s that we have moulded, that we have lost sight of so much. I recall watching Being Mary Jane, I found myself – again –identifying with an all too familiar scenario. Her friends and family worried about her, ask how she is doing. She, knowing very well her own fragile state at that time chose instead not to ‘burden’ people with the truth. She instead chose to tell them that she was ‘doing okay’.

This may of course stem from the fact that you never really know whether people want to be there for you or; are they simply asking as a matter of courtesy. Are they perhaps fishing from the pile of automated responses that we have all cultivated over the years? I know I have that same problem, when asked ‘how are you’, most of the time I begin typing, indicating my real emotion at that time. And then somehow during this process I begin to reconsider, and feel that I may in fact be placing an undue burden on the receiver. I begin to evaluate and think that I may be burdening them with a plethora of emotional adjectives that may simply serve as a deterrent. And then having the proverbial, awkward three hour silence, and no response. We have lost bits of our humanity.

We no longer know how to relate to each other without the armour that is the send button. We hide behind our QWERTY keyboards and the convenience of not having to respond immediately. We need to stop thinking that we are alone. Everybody needs somebody, whether it be a bouncing board or an emotional sponge. It’s that interactive personal connection that most times keep us afloat.

We bury so much of what we don’t want to say, which in turn leaves us feeling alone and isolated. Let’s stop hiding, you might find we are all in the same boat.

When I ask ‘How are you doing?’ I really want to know!