Fam allow me to share a story with you, about this girl that never wanted nor loved me when we were in high school…

Her name is Mbali. She was that girl that always made her statement! She wasn’t that girl everyone wanted, of which is why I was more attracted to her. She was that girl that whenever she walked in, it was like everything and everyone got turned into slow-motion, silence and guys would even not notice the girl sitting next to them. Mbali and I actually never had solid conversations, it was just greetings here and there, she’d start telling me about her weekend, of which was nothing interesting for me because I never had that life. Hence I think that was a huge turn off for her. Every good looking guy (guys that were always slaying) wanted to be seen with her, and take pics with her during lunch.

Remember those days when we wouldn’t wear school uniform, pop up R1 and you’d wear your best “Sunday clothes” to make a statement? Those moments were hell for me, I never knew what to wear…wait let me be honest, I never had clothes to wear! Sometimes even when everyone wasn’t wearing school uniform I’d still wear mine. I never fitted in. Some days I didn’t even go to school on such days, it was total torture for me. Worse part is, most of my friends came from much better backgrounds than mine. Their parents could afford to buy them almost anything they wanted, that really made things worse because now Mbali would notice I was never in her league. Hence till this day, I respect and appreciate school uniform.

Mbali once stole my Travel and Tourism assignment, an assignment that took me almost 3 weeks to complete. Guess what? I was too scared to confront her! Because really, no one was ever going to believe me. Or it was going to be as if i needed attention. I kept it to myself, but after everything, she confessed and we laughed about it. I was that kid, all I ever wanted and had was the drive to make it. Me going to school was never about going there and what I wore, it was more than that! It was always about making sure that whenever my parents were called to come to school, it was only because they were to see me accept my Best Student Achiever on a particular subject…

When i left she wanted to leave with me, wait…

Fast forward…I’ve been to university and got my qualification, she never did. She was and still the kasi queen. I’m now working for one of the coolest brand you can ever imagine, its available on all social networks but she doesn’t know it because she only has WhatsApp and the only time she’s on Facebook is when she’s using a friend’s phone to update and check-in at a tavern somewhere in the hood. On Saturday I went to that same tavern to watch Barcelona and play i-snooker with a friend, she was there. She came to me, told me I look good, I smell good and asked me why I don’t drink alcohol anymore. I was having a MoFaya energy drink. I told her that not every guy from the hood has to drink alcohol everyday…she was a bit upset. As I was playing I-snooker and putting the balls on the pockets she kept clapping, kept chanting my name, if you didn’t know you’d swear she was my girl. When I left she wanted to leave with me, wait…

All I’m trying to say is that she’s not worth it. Not in a bad way, but in a real manner. I mean I’m not the same guy anymore. I can’t embarrass myself like that. Surely I deserve better. In fact I’m better now and for a record I need to go for anything and everything that’s better than what I thought was better when I had nothing! Honest truth. And this is the biggest mistake every guy keeps making, I wouldn’t be even writing about it if I knew that men can do and become much better.

As men we need to reject anything and anyone that never gave us a chance before, especially when it was all because you had nothing to give or show then. It’s really not ideal to make up for lost time at this point, there’s new goals to set, empires to build, alive roses to water and important relationships to appreciate. It really would be a downgrade to hook up with her again. I really don’t have a score to settle because I still have a better chance in life, I can still meet someone with a better chance in life. Girls say they can’t be or date poor and broke guys, why must we?

 

Funny enough, there’s a feeling within that makes me want to hook up with her, that feeling that says “She needs to pay boy, this is your time to make her bow down for you”. But I can’t, I’m not that guy. It’s all in the past now.

 

As for the sisters that leave guys now because they have nothing to offer, this may be a wakeup call. Not every guy can have everything now. Besides, you don’t have to date EVERY GUY. Some really come from poor backgrounds, you can’t be making things worse. His grind might take a little long, longer than your friend’s men, that can’t be the same timeline you use to measure him. Black tax might be the biggest reason things aren’t going as fast for him, but would you be satisfied being with a guy that turns his back on his family? If you left me then, don’t come back, for real. If you’re leaving him now, make sure you don’t come back when everyone eventually realises the crown on his head. As for this girl…

I can’t be trying to settle a score here. There’s no score to settle here. There’s none. Oh and yeah…I didn’t leave with her that night.

Writer: Mxolisi Emmanuel Tshabalala