Why the hell do you not want to get married? Why is modern society eroding this glorious institution away so blatantly and uncaringly? You are more likely to be invited to three times as many baby showers (pronounced “reasons to drink”) as you are to be invited to bridal showers or bachelor parties (pronounced “reasons to get drunk”).
You there, Empty Kleenex Box, what’s your story? Your heart has been broken so many times it looks like a dodgy Picasso piece. One after the other, they just take a piece of you to the point where you think you have nothing to offer, for better for worse. So you’ve decided not to get married because you can’t take the potential heartache. Unless you are going to monk it in Tibet, I would be right in assuming that you are still going to date, or dabble, at least. So, instead of having your heart broken by one person your whole life, you’d rather get a group discount and take a chance with the masses? Clearly common sense is not your mother tongue.
Oi, you, We’ve Been Together For a Long Time It’s Practically Marriage. A great man once said, “a Chrysler 300 looks like a Rolls-Royce Phantom until a Rolls-Royce Phantom pulls up next to a Chrysler 300”. It is NOT the same thing. You tick the “Cohabiting” box and you also have joint accounts, which she blazes happily. Somehow you think that’s marriage sans the misery, but you also stalling because you’ve seen something in the relationship that you know is a mustard seed to a forest of problems that would plague your white picket fence. I now pronounce you “a couple”.
Oh, yes, poor Shackles From The Past. Can’t find a decent working marriage anywhere. No one in your family is happily after-ing anything. Your parents split and left you in pieces. Therapy goes in the monthly budget. The thought of going through that again makes you nauseas. You’ve vowed to put your happiness for any human (including you). You dream of confetti and streamers yet you bolt at the first sight of a guy going down on one knee (to tie his shoe). The real and present misery of singledom is far more tolerable than the imaginary, maybe maybe not, the misery of throwing the bouquet. So you always the one wanting a singles night out, except…you the only single.
What? Me? Me, what? Why don’t I want to get married? Why the hell would I want to do that? Really now, seriously, why? When was it decided that all human obligated to get married? Let’s put the Holy water hip flask away and come to terms with the fact a lot of the notion of marriage is based on religion. The majority of us called ourselves Christians, it’s a default setting. But how many of are actually practicing it? Be honest. So if we take out the religion side of it, why should I get married? So people know that I’m taken? Same way doctors HAVE to walk around the streets with their stethoscopes so that people KNOW that they are doctors, right? I’ve seen many macs with their ring-fingers blinging. Can we please cut the bull of confusing a wedding with marriage, that’s just annoying. How wrong is it to just want to BE with the person you love? What I find strange is that a lot of the whole marriage deal is mostly for other people. Some totally dread having one sexual partner their whole lives. Many fear the point where they might get grossed out by how their person chews. But most do not fear commitment, no, most fear being unhappy. I may be wrong, I may be sadly mistaken, but I dare anyone to put marriage over love.
Writer: Vus Ngxande Photographer: Leeroy Jason