A healthy relationship needs someone carrying the masculine energy (usually the man) and someone carrying the feminine energy (usually the female). In a relationship the people/energies react to each other.
When you interact with someone who has more feminine energy than you, you tend to occupy a masculine space in relations to them. When you interact with someone who has more masculine energy than you, you tend to occupy a feminine aspect in relation to them.
In a relationship the feminine – nurtures, nourishes, inspires, motivates, supports, etc..The masculine – protects, provides, leads, guides and decides. So who ever is doing most of the protecting, providing, leading…is the one holding the masculine energy in the relationship (irresepective of whether that person is male or female in gender), similarly for the feminine roles.
This is where it gets tricky.
Adult males come in 2 versions:
– MEN and Boys
– A man is one who does all those things I mentioned above.
– A boy is one who needs them, I,e, a boy needs to be guided, protected, led, provided for, etc
Adult females also come in 2 versions
– WOMEN and MOTHERS
– A woman is one who does all those things I listed as feminine roles.
– A mother is one who does the things I listed a MASCULINE roles, B E C A U S E a mother has to protect, provide for, lead, guide…her children first and for most before she can do the “soft” feminine stuff.
When a female occupies a Feminine/Woman space she can only attract from an adult male masculine energy or a man. If she occupies a Masculine/Mother space she can only attract from an adult male a BOY. Children are attracted to mothers. Men are attracted to women.
Usually what happens with women who are expressing a lot of masculine energy is that they attract BOYS, and that is why you feel the need to tell them to “man up”, but they can’t because there is already a man/mother, there is only room for a boy. Masculine males/Men are not attracted to Mothers, they tend to gravitate toward women/feminine females. BOYS on the other hand are not attracted to feminine females/women, they are attracted to mothers.
So telling a male to man up is at most useless. The only way you can get him to man up is to stop mothering him/being the man. If he WANTS to be a MAN he will step up to the Masculine role as soon as you occupy the feminine role. If he is not keen on providing, protecting, leading, etc he will lose his attracting and go look for another masculine female/Mother.
Writer: Kagiso Msimango