Man up! Breakdown of Masculine & Feminine

To have a healthy, fulfilling relationship, one partner (usually the man) must carry masculine energy, while the other (usually the woman) carries feminine energy. In the relationship, these energies react to each other.

When you interact with someone who has more feminine energy than you, you will likely occupy the masculine space relative to them. The same applies to the other side. If you encounter a person who is more masculine than you, you tend to occupy the more feminine space relative to them.

In a relationship the feminine – nurtures, nourishes, inspires, motivates, supports, etc..The masculine – protects, provides, leads, guides and decides. So whoever is doing most of the protecting, providing, leading…is the one holding the masculine energy in the relationship (irrespective of whether that person is male or female in gender), similarly for the feminine roles.
This is where it gets tricky.

Adult males come in 2 versions:
– MEN and Boys

– A man is one who does all those things I mentioned above.

– A boy is one who needs them, I,e, a boy needs to be guided, protected, led, provided for, etc

Adult females also come in 2 versions

– A woman is one who does all those things I listed as feminine roles.

– A mother is one who does the things I listed as MASCULINE roles, B E C A U S E a mother has to protect, provide for, lead, guide…her children first and for most before she can do the “soft” feminine stuff.

When a female occupies a Feminine/Woman space she can only attract from an adult male masculine energy or a man. If she occupies a Masculine/Mother space she can only attract from an adult male a BOY. Children are attracted to mothers. Men are attracted to women.

Usually what happens with women who are expressing a lot of masculine energy is that they attract BOYS, and that is why you feel the need to tell them to “man up”, but they can’t because there is already a man/mother, there is only room for a boy. Masculine males/Men are not attracted to Mothers, they tend to gravitate toward women/feminine females. BOYS, on the other hand, are not attracted to feminine females/women, they are attracted to mothers.

So telling a male to man up is at most useless. The only way you can get him to man up is to stop mothering him/being the man. If he WANTS to be a MAN he will step up to the Masculine role as soon as you occupy the feminine role. If he is not keen on providing, protecting, leading, etc he will lose his attracting and go look for another masculine female/Mother.

Writer: Kagiso Msimango

  • Sakhile Ncayiyana
    5th May 2016

    Wow this heavy! and brilliant.

  • FortuityLane
    10th Aug 2018

    Exceptional piece of writing! I never really thought about this, like this. Sht*t. Such pieces are the reason I am subscribed to Marvin in the first place. I have learnt something today. I will be a man today. I see the picture. Amen

    • George Gladwin Matsheke
      14th Aug 2018

      Right! It gives so much insight … but i also believe that you have to be ready for this article as well …

  • DjangoJane
    13th Aug 2018

    This is a very interesting perspective, but the article ended abruptly. In this theory, women are not socialised or given allowance to be ‘girls’. There only options available are very mature and already burdensome. It would be great to get more insight into the female perspective.

    • George Gladwin Matsheke
      14th Aug 2018

      The focus on this article was men hence the writer didnt go further into the female perspective

  • Lebogang Mahlangu
    14th Aug 2018

    This article just explained my life long struggle and understanding of where I went wrong in relationships… Naturally a mother therefore I unfortunately attracted alot of Boys.. dammm…

    • George Gladwin Matsheke
      14th Aug 2018

      You need to be ready for some of the conversations that are had on Marvin hey this post has been there for last two years people were not ready yet

  • Snazzy
    18th Jun 2019

    Just had my aha! moment from reading this article. It hits home and carries so much truth

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