So this past weekend was one of those crazy Joburg weekends. I was booked to play three gigs on Saturday night. In all sorts of parts of town; one was in Boksburg, one in Fourways, and one in Sandton. The sets were alright although I had to adjust them a bit – in Boksburg, I was playing for a mainly white crowd. It was one of those nights where I was completely uninspired – I did it strictly for the money. In fact, to be honest, for my last gig, I just played my iPod. I had made a mix at home during the week and just let that spin while pretending to be mixing. I suppose you could say I was lip-synching a DJ set. Anyway, who cares, the crowd enjoyed it and I got paid so it was win-win. After I finished playing at my last spot in Sandton, I was in a weird mood. I was stressed out about a couple of things and part of me wanted to go home and sleep, but another part of me just wanted to sit and down a couple of shots. So I decided to stick around the party, make some small talk with some people, then I’ll go home after about 20 minutes.
The life of a rock star is as unpredictable as ever, and having a bit of fame and being naughty will always have the possibility of trouble… and it seems trouble is always looking for me. As I’m sitting at the bar minding my own business, a girl who’s probably a 6 out of 10 offers me tequila on condition that I take the lemon from her mouth. Normally at a club like this one, where I know a lot of people and most of the girls are hot, I wouldn’t even consider looking at a 6. But I looked her up and down; nice legs, killer cleavage but a weird looking face. The kind of girl that would look hot in a moving car. So I think, fuck it, and take the offer. I take the tequila and in a matter of seconds, I’m kissing on her with a lemon slice in our mouths. She tells me she thinks I’m hot and wants to get with me but is scared that my girlfriend is at the club.
Honestly, I have no girlfriend, which is why I live recklessly like I do and because I’m single I can do whatever I want. Although I do think I need to get a girlfriend as that would probably calm me down. So ladies if you want to get with a naughty boy, holler. Anyway, I told her I have no girlfriend and she said to me that a guy as cute as I am had to have a girlfriend – that I was lying. I’ve heard that cute line a whole lot of times. And like how hot women hear lines all the time, so-called hot guys hear the same lines from women all the time. I knew she was mine but I could see she was working hard to seem hard to get ’cos she didn’t want to seem too easy. As soon as she did that I pretended to switch off and lose interest, and it worked like a charm: I reeled her back in.
So I told her straight I’m leaving the club, right there and then, either she’s with me or she’s not and she said, “Let me tell my friends.” I told her she has three minutes to be back where I am or it’s tickets for her. I was really taking chances but one thing I’ve learned about women: the more of a prick a guy is, the more they want you. Honest to God she was back to me very quickly and she said she’s ready to go. We walked to my car got in and left the vicinity. I was honestly and truly looking forward to waxing that ass as I kept peeking at those thighs as I changed gears. But as luck would have it her phone rings. I hear her on the other line: “No choma, I left already. What? Do you need the house keys? Okay, I’m coming back now.” She tells me to turn back. So I make a U-turn and as we get there, her friend is outside being macked on by some guy. The friend is hot; an 8.5. Think of your typical hot, black Joburg party chick: weave with a sideways fringe that covers half of one eye, nice face, nice legs, and a short black skirt. She gets into the car with us and says, “Let’s go.”
Now I’m thinking, fuck, with the friend there, there is no way I’m getting ass now or maybe there is a possibility of the ever-elusive threesome. Who knows? I’m an optimist so I hope for the best.
By Anonymous DJ