Love is a curious thing so I will not attempt to define or describe it in a universal way. Instead, I’ll share my experience of it with you using this statement as the starting point: Men dont have a clue of what love is (an an emotion) but women have a warped sense of love. Without putting the blame for countless failed relationship on this warped idea of love let me explain an often ignored law of nature; women choose their mate. Thats why peacocks have the flashy feathers, male spiders are usually smaller than the females and the ox has the bigger horns, you get the drift. Throughout the animal kindom, the male species needs to impress the female and yes, they usually have to fend off the competittion first to prove they have the best genes but this does not 100% guarantee they will get chosen as a mate. If the woman says no, thats the end, kapish!

The human species in particular has a nack for choosing the wrong partners but thats another story completely. What I want to focus on is the after effects of years of Mills & Boons novels as well as soppy soapies such as The Bold abd The Beautiful. Most women I’ve met have been conditioned to believe love is what they’ve read about or seen on tv. A narrow perception is born and lets face it, most don’t have a father who will guide them through this when it matters most. That is then compounded by the need to be as good as a man if not better, afterall, society demands it! So the result is a woman who wants to be a barbie doll and rambo at the same time.

I’m yet to meet a man who has does not think women do not listen in relationships. My experience has been that their idea of love is alfa and omega to them unless they meet a man who can teach them something different. Because of this they believe that they have given all the love that they can to a man and he is being unappreciative whereas, he may not be in tune with that because of his different understanding which is usually (a) provide (b) provide and (c) provide. Noone ever explained to us exactly what we need to provide so we prioritise as serurity, incredible sex and everything we think you want (in no specific order). Now at this point, I need to point out a reality that some women still cant get to grip with: No man is innocent, none!

So you now you have two people who have completely different ideas on what love is, one that thinks they know it all and one who is far from innocent. Its a cocktail for disaster, the kind that makes you act out your deepest fantasies but robs you of the memories the following morning…

Writer: Katlego Modipane