“He walked into the room and I knew for sure he could get it…” – a woman sharing with friends of the day she met her man/boyfriend/partner/husband. That’s a simple reality – women know upon first interaction whether she is going to sleep with a man or not, this is why and how one night stands happen. The twisted side to it is that it becomes a waiting game – will he make a move, has he picked up on your interest, is he feeling your vibe? All because we are socialised that men make the first move or the actual pursuing, although women are taking ownership of the game and taking matters into their own hands, men hitting on women is still the general status quo.
Why then, do guys go in blindly? Why do they hit on random women, who are often not at all interested or even checking for them? I reckon that if gentlemen paid careful attention to their surroundings and the women around them, their lives would be easier because they would be able to know which of the women are actually interested and are feeling their vibe. However, not men bathong, they want to just conquer, they want to hunt and chase even where they are obviously not wanted. *sigh*. I often wonder if men really understand how annoying “random” shelling is – like you meet a woman at a club/shopping centre and proceed to hit on her, my goodness. Also, on a more serious note it’s not always interesting when a woman gives her number to a man, it’s quite often fear mixed with a means to an end – we just want this gent to go away and not insult or harass us after being rejected – I would rather deal with blocking a number than have insults hurled to my face.
Women often say that it’s the way a man carries himself, walks and talks that get them interested in him, there are various other things they mention, but seldom is it looks. I often say that, looks truly matter because what you are first introduced to before any words are exchanged is someone’s physique and facial features. In my humble opinion, the attraction is in the eye of the beholder (and his shoes). We all have things that were are attracted to as well as deal-breakers during interactions, I for one cannot stand running shoes or basketball shoes and baggy jeans, it’s an instant fail – smoking as well, I do not speak to smokers whom I don’t know. But what is that catches my attention and keeps it, over and above the physical and visual like a lovely nose, no hair, a beard and a great pair of shoes? It’s definitely the way a man carries himself, is he walking with his shoulders high – confident without being pompous, funny without being the resident loud comedian in the room. I appreciate a gentleman who not only commands respect but gives it too, does he greet the waitress and doorman? Does he speak well of others and to others, nobody wants a temper tantrum throwing, shouting spoilt brat around them – no woman wants a “man about town”, the life of the party is not a good look, nobody must ever lead men astray.
With that being said, we are human after all, we like what we like and often pursue what we perceive to be worth it, unless you are victimized by gwababa. All I’m saying is that pay attention to your surroundings, a woman’s response when introducing yourself, whether she looks at you or past you when you speak to her. A gentleman could save himself many rejections, simply by paying attention to his surroundings.
Writer: Palesa Motau