Cliché’s are so uncool. Nobody wants to be a cliché. We all want to be unique and have unique problems, alas when it comes to women’s relationship challenges too often daddy issues are the root cause.
I have been shooting a TV show called Mokapelo – women in their 20s and 30s with love related problems write in to the show seeking supportive interventions from me. It is a 13 episode show but we go through tons of letters to pick the participants. Delving into these women’s challenges re-inforced something I already knew. The relationship you had with your dad as a baby and young girl (and/or with your primary male caregiver), and the relationship that your mom had with your dad (and/or with her male partner) when you were young have a HUGE impact on your relationships and other experiences in adulthood.
I like to declare that; “everybody has daddy issues” (I am a fan of sweeping statements, they get people talking.) Once when I made this declaration, a friend countered: “I don’t have daddy issues, my daddy was perfect.” In fact her daddy was so “perfect” that she is still struggling to meet a man who will live up to the her idealized first love. It turns out that even having a super-daddy can be an issue!
By the way, if daddy was an awesome dad but a crappy husband, this will negatively affect your romantic relationships in adulthood, and possibly even how you feel about yourself as a woman, as you experience his mistreatment the most important woman in your life, your mom.
I’d have to write a whole series of posts to go into all the ways your childhood relationship with your father can sabotage your current happiness, but I did something even better, I developed an eCourse on Healing Daddy Issues. Here I want to focus on the lesser known impacts of this relationship.
Writer: Kagiso Msomango via The Goddess Academy