A loose definition of the modern man is a hustler, dreamer, hard worker and this is besides his other, more formal job titles. But there is one job title that puts fear into many modern man, and that is “fatherhood”. Let’s break bread and let me tell you MY story.

What does two lines mean?

It was some random Sunday afternoon in October 2007. Me and my girlfriend had been driving around a lot and she had seemed off-fish somehow. We finally got home (yes, we stayed together – problem No. 1). I collapsed on the couch to take a nap, she went to the bathroom. I was beginning to doze off when she came back and said, “look”. Now up to this point I don’t recall ever seeing a home pregnancy test. I opened my eyes and she had placed this gadgety looking effort on the armrest.
“What is it?” I asked.
“It’s a pregnancy test”
“Why are you showing it to me?”. It was not a rhetorical question. My heart had taken a sledge hammer to my ribs. My blood was winning the race in my F1 veins. But confusion left me stupid.
“Why do YOU think i’m showing it to you?” she snapped back.
“I don’t know”, i said. This actually went on for a bit. “2 lines means the test is positive” read the instructions thingy. Two lines stared back at me. At this point you ask and GET asked dumb questions like, “how did it happen?”. Well, there was a bird and a bee. Biology says there was an erect penis, a wet vagina and carelessness.

Rockstar
I have to put this into some context, my life at the time. Me and my girlfriend had been together for about five years. I was 24, she 23. She was still in varsity. I had come out of a whirlwind of fame and fortune after winning a television show. My career was in warp speed. I remember walking into a furniture store and being hit by the realisation that there was nothing in the store that I could not afford to buy. I practically furnished my new crib in one day, in cash. I was a month away from buying a very fast and very expensive two door. I was partying like a rockstar, Thee modern man.

Dreams Deferred
I heard my new car crash into a wall, in my mind. I saw my future flash before my eyes. I saw my career lying, bleeding on the ground. My swag broke up with me. I was scared sh*tless. She said she had not been feeling well for three weeks. (Counting with finger) THREE WEEKS?! Remember when they said morning after’s are only like 80% effective? Welcome to the lucky 20%. We went to the doctor and they did a scan. The room was dim, the doctor switched on the screen and right there on channel Ayeye it. Mostly shades of grey and black. I’ll be honest and say I actually didn’t see much. But there was a heartbeat, it was loud. My knees buckled, i nearly fell. The doctor said it was actually six weeks. One doctor even elaborated how we were neither mentally nor emotionally ready. She was right. We had no business having a baby. We were still within the legal limit for a Termination Of Pregnancy (TOP). At six weeks all it would take was two pills and that was it.

So what now ?

So, what did I do? Well, i could ask you the same thing. What would YOU do?

… to be continued.

 

Writer: Vus Ngxande